For some odd reason I am feeling very emotional. I cried all morning reading about things, thinking about things, listening to things.... Not bad tears, or sad tears (the kind that give you runny boogers) but happy, thankful tears. (for lack of better words to describe)
I took a trip this last month with some friends, and it was very fun and much anticipated (you can check out the album of photos on FB) I needed it. You know as well as I do that being a parent is the best and craziest rollercoaster ride of all. Sometimes up and sometimes down, but after all is said and done and the ride is over for the day, you are always so glad you went on that ride. It leaves you feeling excited, nervous, happy, aware, and don't forget the butterflies floating in the tummy!
I look forward to laying my boys down to sleep for a moments peace to myself, as much as I look forward to feeling their soft little lips squished against my cheek in the morning to wake me up. Kids are the best....and for many reasons.
I know they are growing and the days where I get to hold them in my arms and pinch their bare bottoms as they get out of the tub are numbered. It makes me sad to think how fast time had flown.
i remember the twins coming home with me from the hospital and feeling extremely overwhelmed....I would think to myself, "hang in there for one month, it will get better. They will be bigger, sleeping better through the night etc...just hang on." a month would come and with it, life would get easier, but also harder. So then again I would think. "oh when they are 6 months it will be easier. They will sit up, and surely be sleeping through the night, not so fragile." etc....
The other night, me and James played outside with the kids. We built sandcastles, played tickle monster, and tag. I was so happy. I sat on my back stairs and watched my little family. I love them. Life is good. Not perfect in the world's eyes, but perfect in mine.
My boys are at a good age in life, or maybe I've just learned to relax and roll with the punches, either way, I love where they are at. Chase is a sponge for knowledge and is reminding me of myself as a child every day. He is very inquisitive just as I was. Always asking me impossible questions that I don't know how to answer, such as. "What's the biggest thing in the entire world?", "Will dinosaurs come back to life when Jesus comes again?" things like this that catch me off-guard but always make me smile. he is so tender-hearted, just like his daddy.
The twins are still my babies. They just barely have their baby chub still that I fear will be gone in the next few months. I love chubby cheeks (both on their face and bottoms), pudgy little fingers, sweet little dimples. They are just about to pass through that line of "toddler" to "big kid" and it makes me sad. They still say funny words in their cute little munchkin voices and I will miss that dearly.
For the first time in a long time, I am not wanting to fast forward to the easier times, I want to
PAUSE.
Pause life the way it is,
make my kids stop growing.
Keep them my babies.
And let those butterflies in my tummy linger as long as they will allow.
-Jami
